Breath of Fresh Air

with the dew on the grass i take a deep breath

and welcome it all with open arms

because soon i'll be away, far from its embrace that tried to choke me when i was here

good riddance friends who were merely peers and fucked up family members

you'll miss me when i'm gone, but you, i'll hardly remember

i will admit though, i'll miss the fur, the purring that kept my heart sound

i will be back from time to time to visit them then

for my heart will crumble should something terrible happen

i wish you the best, sacramento, but i won't look back

the only time i'll revisit u is to see my cats.

continued angst

Continued angst living trivially in the devil's arms

outtings come to bust and extends my legs to walk and discover new foot steps

erasing shadows as one building passes another

new thoughts and feelings. feelings of hope. feelings of winter.

dead with the old, alive with the new.

crushed sinew drips down in waves, my thoughts of violence erratic, but not spontaneous

promptly brought to my knees. drag it to neck level and don't give it a kiss.

it's one swift blow is well intentioned and deserving.

for what i would do for a passive aggressive moment. such revenge. such sweet deserved revenge.

but hold not astray for too long. we may forget where we're from. we may copy the enemy. we  must be careful to not copy its movements, for one day we may end up just like him.

in my last days i've seen many things to blast the rooftops from houses

but yet we stayed. finally we'll go. a better life. a better home.

frustration

to choose to say what normally i cannot say

i probably will not say, to stay out of harms way

to help lessen the tension but who really cares

just me, just you, can't take it anymore

get out of the house before the garden takes you

and buries your body within the weeds

shall you not plead

steal the things you think you need

is it so hard to go back from whence you came

or shall i forcefully shut you out

sympathetic, i think not

not when daily arrivals appear when i do not want it to

you do not live far, but near

you have no right to open doors or locks

or permissions to systems, you have not. 

so angry it makes me green when i see you

livid i am.

livid like the waters on the shore

hesitating, flowing, the rage grows strong, then goes away

hesitating. waiting for the right moment to take you away to the middle of the ocean

put cement shoes on your feet and help you find your true home.

NOT HERE.

so tired

sleep late wake up late

active at most for four hours

sleep late wake up late, exhausted.

cherreez

the cherry was popped

but this was no ordinary cherry

this was rotten, long-overdue, and concerning

no delay

hours pour into
growing an electronic gateway
i don't have the permissions to enter

Reconnecting

reconnecting

like the universe set into melding gear

music is like love in more ways than one

Hot and cold summer

hot and cold summer

undecided weather here

burnt grass with cold nights

the older tree

like an older tree

roots and branches all twisted

suffocating tree

stay?

three years have past

nothing changed, stuck in old ways

regret, breakup, stay?

opportunity falls

like trees in winter

falling of leaves, frozen bark

stuck in wait of time

Dreams

Dreamt bout a raccoon

Leashed and not wanting to go

it pro-bly had aids

When true love takes root

trees rooted in ground

remain even in fire

lasts longer than death

easy

loving you is easy

it is leaving you that is hard

hearts connected. one

Rip Cut Dive

to rip into spleens

will have a calming effect

only then is peace

Where to go

steady... decision

where should i go. where and why

for love or for brains?

T.S.

Beware the T.S.

ruptured arteries bring pain

R.I.P. Comfort 

Tot Thought

a tot thought not thought
for i am in place of tot
wallet small, love big

sunday last day

sunday last day here
buffet smiles with stuffed stomachs
love is felt for phill

Hot Dogs and Rice

Hot dogs and rice meal
Culturally exquisite
No, it's not so bad

I watched you sleep..

Watched you fall asleep
Tired legs, dropped on couch
Early Bird Special

Hell and Back

nine weeks of drawn red
finally dissipating
thank you birth control

Summer of 09

summer of oh nine
lots of phill time here in Sac
summer school draws near...

5-7-5

this is my new blog
days of young and old i write
limited space flight